A few of the jobs I’m seeking after graduation.
- Something in Alaska. I’ve always wanted to know what Russia looked like.
- Person who hand out court papers. While I imagine they do other things, and have some kind of training, this job looks pretty appealing on television. I’ll get to dress up in costumes and pop out of bushes and say “YOU GOT SERVED” which will be especially awesome if someone is suing a break dancer or tennis player. And this is America, so I’ll never run out of work.
- Something I’m qualified for based on my particular degree. That, or get another degree, and just ride out this recession as a full time student.
- Grim Reaper and Meter Maid.
- Paper Salesman.
- New Zealand consulate employee.
- Head Writer on TGS with Tracy Jordan.
- Hotel Administration at Cornell University. I have experience at running nearly every aspect of a hotel. Taking room reservations, cleaning rooms, working in a hotel restaurant, chopping logs for the hotel fireplace, inventory while sitting next to a large California Condor, and getting real money out of the world’s cheapest polygamist. I am ready to work at any hotel.
- Ghostwriter for a celebrity’s Twitter account. Like Tony Shalhoub.
- Instead of looking for a job, I’ll take a year to “go to Europe and find myself.” I know it’s a cliché, but I figure if I find myself, she might have a job idea. Or, if my vague knowledge of sci-fi is correct, the fabric of time would implode.